
Fear of loss
Dernière mise à jour : 16 nov. 2018
As I sat in the coral armchair, two or possibly three tissues in my right hand,
These three words resonated in my head: fear of loss, yes, fear of loss
How had I never thought of it before? It became clearer that
to all things processed and ruminated over, a pinch of nuance had to be added
I was plunged back in a hospital waiting room,unable to move on, paralysed,
Whereas others came after work or with purpose in their lungs when leaving
I was sitting there, with no other thing on but a plane to take me back to the Ocean a week later
Only the distance could free me from such debilitating fear, only it could prevent me from feeling so deeply that my body ached
Agony passed but came back stronger, unexpected, like a robber in the night, unaware and naive but suddenly faced with it, I was reminded of our acquaintance
Loss was faced all over again, not in a hospital ward, nor in my silver-headed people,
but in the very depth of my heart, its letters having been carved out
As I sat in the dark green armchair and bended towards the fresh scent of the eucalyptus placed on a desk
Three words resonated in my head: fear of loss and it all made sense
Hims and hers all around, all possible losses, and yet all life-giving souls, just as much as eucalyptus placed in a barren room
