Fear of loss

Dernière mise à jour : 16 nov. 2018

As I sat in the coral armchair, two or possibly three tissues in my right hand,

These three words resonated in my head: fear of loss, yes, fear of loss

How had I never thought of it before? It became clearer that

to all things processed and ruminated over, a pinch of nuance had to be added

I was plunged back in a hospital waiting room,unable to move on, paralysed,

Whereas others came after work or with purpose in their lungs when leaving

I was sitting there, with no other thing on but a plane to take me back to the Ocean a week later

Only the distance could free me from such debilitating fear, only it could prevent me from feeling so deeply that my body ached

Agony passed but came back stronger, unexpected, like a robber in the night, unaware and naive but suddenly faced with it, I was reminded of our acquaintance

Loss was faced all over again, not in a hospital ward, nor in my silver-headed people,

but in the very depth of my heart, its letters having been carved out

As I sat in the dark green armchair and bended towards the fresh scent of the eucalyptus placed on a desk

Three words resonated in my head: fear of loss and it all made sense

Hims and hers all around, all possible losses, and yet all life-giving souls, just as much as eucalyptus placed in a barren room